A few days ago we noticed that a pair of C's yard tennis shoes, which are stored in the garage, had laces that had been "cut". Being a city girl, my natural inclination was to think that some psycho stalker had made his way into our garage and was leaving us little, "Are you in the house alone?" messages. But that paranoia didn't last long, when just two days later, several more garage shoelaces were ripped from their eye holes and taken. At that point, even a city girl can figure out....mouse. So I called the exterminator, because in all my days I have never had a confrontation with a mouse in the wild, or the garage as it were, and I don't want to now.
The exterminator is coming tomorrow, so we thought we should give the garage a good cleaning in preparation. C and B pulled everything out and swept really good. Then they started on the garage closet, which houses our water heater, lots of metal chairs for when teenagers are over, boxes of Christmas decorations, and other stuff. It's a pretty big closet. It didn't take long before the men discovered Templeton's collection of shoelaces and other assorted items. But they did not encounter the beast until they pulled everything out...and there he was. I had pictured in my mind a little field mouse. I was wrong. B was running in to alert me, but C wisely stopped him, knowing this is not a sight for city girl me. He described it to me later, however, as the size of a large guinea pig. Go ahead, you can pause for a moment to be disgusted, as I have already done. Actually, I still am.
C is not such a country boy himself, and so he began to spray Goliath with Round Up, right in the face. Yao Ming then skirted quickly toward the outdoors, with C on his tail swinging a large broom. He missed, but I feel certain that the Rodent Emperor is now running smack dab into fences and the sides of houses since his eyesight is surely lost. Don't do that...don't feel sorry for him because he had it coming the day he took up residence in this place.
After the blind mammoth left the garage, B came down off the top of the ice chest, where I'm told he was standing. He came in the house and got his air soft gun and a flashlight. Now he's out there being manly, searching for a ROUS (rodent of unusual size)and shooting any spider who stands in his way. It's times like these that turn a boy into a man, and a woman into a chicken.
12 comments:
nice ha ha thats really funny. condsidering that i am now the man of the house taking down spiders. btw the end of the story is that i put a piece of cheese in the driveway and drenched it in round-up. it hasnt eaten it yet but i believe its the best trap i could think f as an almost teenager
NOW I know how the "3 blind mice" became 'blind'!
-LaDon
um.....do mice get that big...or was your new found roomie a RAT!!! I'm just sayin...
yes, it was most definitely a rat. and the exterminator is here and laughed at C and his Round Up tale.
On another note, B's poison-laced cheese was long gone this morning.
oh my gosh--this is HYSTERICAL.
Well, living where you do, it was just a matter of time. From C's description, it sounds as if Monster Rat has been eating at your house for quite awhile.
On another note, you probably already know this since you are always "up" on all things "24", but I read in today's paper that there will be a prequel to "24" Season 7 to air in November. Also, Jon Voight is gonna play a bad guy in Season 7.
the stupid thing is back. i guess he came back in while the door was up yesterday afternoon. last night, he moved the traps around the garage to taunt us. he's going down. TODAY. it's on now. right after we get back from two baseball tournament games.
actually, i didn't know that about 24. can't wait!
We have found that the old fashioned snap traps work the best. At least your husband didn't run around with your daughter's BB gun trying to shoot the darn thing!! (yes, that is what my hubby did on Christmas Eve when we had a mouse stirring in the house!)
~CG
um, actually, as you were typing your comment, he was loading bbs into the Daisy. He said the airsoft gun didn't do a thing to it.
A few minutes ago he came in w/ a big grin looking all Daniel Boone-like. It is finished. He stunned it w/ the bb gun and then stepped on its head w/ his foot. Once again, I stayed inside, bc ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I particularly enjoyed the princess bride reference. i think i am going to watch it now...
Air Soft and BB guns? Have you heard the story from Mom and Dad during their early marriage years? If I recall, Dad was out of town and Mom saw a mouse in the closet. She called the neighbor all frantic and he showed up moments later holding a shotgun. Now THAT is how you get rid of a rodent!
Kendall
Sick. Out.
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