A few days ago we noticed that a pair of C's yard tennis shoes, which are stored in the garage, had laces that had been "cut". Being a city girl, my natural inclination was to think that some psycho stalker had made his way into our garage and was leaving us little, "Are you in the house alone?" messages. But that paranoia didn't last long, when just two days later, several more garage shoelaces were ripped from their eye holes and taken. At that point, even a city girl can figure out....mouse. So I called the exterminator, because in all my days I have never had a confrontation with a mouse in the wild, or the garage as it were, and I don't want to now.
The exterminator is coming tomorrow, so we thought we should give the garage a good cleaning in preparation. C and B pulled everything out and swept really good. Then they started on the garage closet, which houses our water heater, lots of metal chairs for when teenagers are over, boxes of Christmas decorations, and other stuff. It's a pretty big closet. It didn't take long before the men discovered Templeton's collection of shoelaces and other assorted items. But they did not encounter the beast until they pulled everything out...and there he was. I had pictured in my mind a little field mouse. I was wrong. B was running in to alert me, but C wisely stopped him, knowing this is not a sight for city girl me. He described it to me later, however, as the size of a large guinea pig. Go ahead, you can pause for a moment to be disgusted, as I have already done. Actually, I still am.
C is not such a country boy himself, and so he began to spray Goliath with Round Up, right in the face. Yao Ming then skirted quickly toward the outdoors, with C on his tail swinging a large broom. He missed, but I feel certain that the Rodent Emperor is now running smack dab into fences and the sides of houses since his eyesight is surely lost. Don't do that...don't feel sorry for him because he had it coming the day he took up residence in this place.
After the blind mammoth left the garage, B came down off the top of the ice chest, where I'm told he was standing. He came in the house and got his air soft gun and a flashlight. Now he's out there being manly, searching for a ROUS (rodent of unusual size)and shooting any spider who stands in his way. It's times like these that turn a boy into a man, and a woman into a chicken.